I guess I haven't posted anything since our big announcement! Not long after we announced we were having a baby we headed to IL for a couple weeks. Well I headed to IL for a couple weeks, Seth came up for one week. I had all these expectations to do a million things with a million people but good ole' mornin sickness continued with a vengeance and confined me to the couch for much of the first week there...soo plans changed. I guess that is God's way of preparing me that life is about to change and "my agenda" isn't always going to work with a little one :). Regardless of the sickness, it was wonderful! I did get to see alot of people and it was really refreshing to me. We also got some good family time, which was just awesome. I am pretty sure I was spoiled crazy. I didn't cook one meal (not that i'm doing much of that anymore anyways, haha), clean anything, or really do anything that took much effort, haha- my momma spoiled me and I wasn't going to complain because her food is gooood and it's not very often I get her cookin. I am pretty sure her cooking had something do with some pregnancy pounds put on those weeks!
Some of my favorite things from this trip: lunch at Caleri's with Bets, Mom B, & Dayne & Maggy & then just catching up on life. Girls night at Erin's house. Celebrating Rio's 1st birthday with the family & watching him dig in his cake. Taking walks just like old times with Cori on the trail and getting so much quality time with her. Visiting Mart & Cohen with Cori and seeing her new house and her little sweet boy. Having lunch with Abi & catching up. Going to Parade of Homes with my parents and dreaming with them about huge houses. Getting alot of quality time with my parents and little brother, Chad. Watching the news every night at 530 & 600 to see if Chad had done any news reports that day. Lunch with friends. Going shopping with my mom. Taking walks with my parents. Going swimming with Mom B, Bets, and the twins. Breakfast with Ty & Laura. Hanging out at the Thames house. Family dinners. Playing with my niece, Kylie Jo, in her house and swing. Chad's new go-pro camera and the video he made & how it made Jen and I cry (blame in on the pregnancy hormones!). Seeing people at church and catching up. Seeing the fireworks. Game night with Booms & Thornburgs. Lots of quality time with my sis-in-law (sister really) and getting excited for their-any-day-now-baby. Meeting Jeff's new girlfriend. Hanging out with grandpa and laughing with him. Seeing my brother, Jake, be an awesome dad. Visiting with my Aunt & Uncle. Afternoon chat with DZ & MB. Watching our families all interact with eachother and love being together. The guys on both sides doing a triathlon and succeeding! Dinner at Mom & Dad B's with the whole family and playing with the kids. Looking at diaper bags with Jackie and getting her advice. Getting a sweet new Ford Taurus to drive, such a gift, seriously! Seeing corn and cornfields. Eating at one world and avantis (alot).
Here's some of the pictures from the week:
Chasing Kylie Jo around the yard
Uncle Chad & Kylie were buddies
Grandma and Grandpa reading goodnight stories to Kylie Jo
Mom and her girl
Jay getting Rio reading to dive into his birthday cake
Darling!!
The birthday boy and his parents! Jackie made an awesome cake!
I think he liked it :)
We were able to throw a baby shower for Nat & her baby girl!
love this picture- it was one of Kylie's favorite things to do and she knew just who to ask
Precious! Grandma and Kylie Jo
I love this- they look like such buddies :)
Jen getting some sewing lessons from mom, now she's a pro :)
Kylie loved Uncle Jeff and loved it when he would play fun songs on his Ipad
A nice break from the hooooot Illinois summer with Uncle Seth
Jen and I are both pregnant. I am about 15 weeks in this picture and she is 8+ months! so fun to be in this together!
These guys were nuts, it was over 100 degrees + humidity and they were pulling bushes with super deep roots!
Kylie getting some bonding time in with Jeff and Lindsey (and elmo)!
Uncle Seth and the kiddos
Saying goodbye to his truck, we are grateful for 5 wonderful years with it!
Sweet Rio buddy
Maggy showing us her new bike, she's so cute!
Can you tell they are brothers :)?
Love this pic with Jake & Bets & the kiddos
Grandma and Rio buddy
Kylie Jo is lovin the attention from her dad and uncles
Love this one!! Uncle Chad and Kylie Jo
Traditional basketball game
We had such a wonderful trip home and soaked up every minute (minus the sick ones, haha). We wish we could've seen more people! The time always flies! We didn't get a break from the heat- we went from 105 in IL to 105 in AR...I can't wait for some cooler weather!
After some requests, I'll post some belly pictures soon :). We find out in less than 2 weeks if we are having a boy or a girl...so excited!
“Oh magnify the LORD with me and let us exalt His name
together”
(psalm 34:3)
“For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition that I made to
him"
(1 Samuel 1:27)
Yes, that is us in the picture and it does mean that I
am pregnant and we are expecting a baby in December! December 25 or 26th
that is. Yes, I know that is Christmas. At first I had pretty mixed emotions,
“Their birthday will be overshadowed for their whole life” but then really in
the scheme of things it can be a really neat thing & we will cross that bridge when we get to it. What we
really care about is having a healthy baby, so if that means delivering on
Christmas day, then praise Jesus!!
The journey to here hasn’t been the easiest. I wrestled with
even sharing it, but Seth and I both agreed when we started this blog that we
wanted to be transparent and the only thing holding me back from sharing our
journey would be my own pride.
Everyone has their own story, none is better or
worse than another’s- just different…this is our story. So in that case, here
goes…
We were like a lot of newly married couples and talked about
“when we were going to have kids”. We started off saying “2 years into our
marriage”…2 years came quick, so we bumped it to 3 years. That was when we
thought we’d be saying in IL to have little ones. Once we joined FamilyLife and
knew we were going to be moving for a year (at that time we only thought we
would be gone one year) we decided to wait to start a family. Last July we went
to a Staff Conference for Cru out in Colorado. One morning I was doing some
quiet time and talking with God and all of a sudden I heard him tell me that we
are supposed to start trying for a family next month (august). I talked back
and said “no way God, that doesn’t fit with ‘our plan’ because I wanted to be
by family when we had kids” and the persistent answer I got was “Trust me”.
Honestly….it really wasn’t
just the fear of being away from family. The truth is, I didn’t want to start
trying for fear that it might not be possible for me to get pregnant. I didn’t
want to face that pain or impending trial. I didn’t want to go through that, I
didn’t feel brave enough or strong enough. I wanted it to come easy. But in the back of my mind I knew
God was wanting to teach me something and that terrified me. I didn’t want God to
teach me anything else, I knew everything I needed to know- right?! Haha, right Angela. I asked God if this was
going to be really hard & emotionally painful but I only heard “Trust me”.
Trust
Him. Okay, I could do that, I mean the good LORD has carried me through much
else, I could surely take a month or two of trusting Him in this journey,
right??
I shared all of this
with Seth and he told me to not be afraid and to not worry about something I didn't
even know if it would be a trial. I tried whining and complaining that I just
reaaaally didn’t want this to be one of those
trials, you know, the kind that you can’t wait to see the end of?
So began the journey and let me tell you, I had a lot of
work to be done to my heart. Who would’ve thought that God would use something
like trying for a baby to tear down some of my strongholds and inaccurate thoughts
of Him? At first it wasn’t so hard, the disappointment, the “better luck next
month”, etc. But then it got hard. The pain of discouragement, hopelessness,
“what’s wrong with me?”, “is God punishing me?”, “I
just want to quit”, and on and on. It’s an emotional rollercoaster month after
month and as much as I tried staying hopeful and positive, it was not fun. Just
to be honest. I started convincing myself that I needed to do something to
please God OR that I wasn’t doing something good enough. Guess what I learned
throughout this journey- neither one of those are true and neither one of those
reflect the character and heart of our God. I was shocked to realize how many
lies I had been believing and how easy it was to believe them, it was almost,
in a weird way, some sort of comfort- because I if I could blame “something” as
the problem then I could fix it, or
so I wanted to think at times. God helped me sort through how wrong that thinking is. Whew. I didn’t think that this would turn into
such a spiritual refinement. And I am still in the process.
Anyways. On the medical side of things, I went to a doctor
here and she talked to me about starting a pill to help me become pregnant.
Part of me thought that was a great idea and another part of me didn’t know if
I was ready for that yet & didn’t quite have a peace about it (disclaimer:
I fully believe you should do whatever God leads you to do and taking a pill is
NOT a bad thing so don’t hear me say thatAT ALL through this!). Later that same day I had an appointment with a
chiropractor. Don’t ask me why I thought a chiropractor would be able to help
me, in fact I didn’t think that she would, I thought the idea was kinda crazy.
But I went because it was an open door and a free consultation so what did I
have to lose? She told me she could help me and was so full of hope and
excitement that I decided to give that a try and hold off on the pill for now. We
changed our diet quite a bit and went whole food. We used a lot of organic
produce and meat without hormones added to it. We cut down a lot on
grains/wheat and sugars (haha, however once I started getting morning sickness
all this went out the window and I started craving my childhood foods- pizza
rolls, potatoes, and mac n cheese- good old comfort foods). I can’t & won’t
say that going to the chiropractor is what got us pregnant. It is purely up to
God and His timing, but I do believe He uses tools and people to accomplish His
plans sometimes. I don’t think it was one
specific thing.
The day I took the test I was pretty nervous and pretty
doubtful at the same time. I mean, heck, after you take so many negatives,
what’s one more?? It’s an emotional rollercoaster,
that’s what it is!! So I took the test and started walking out of the
bathroom before I even waited for results, I just figured it was negative…but
as I was walking out I noticed something that’s never been there before—two
lines. Now it doesn’t take a nurse to figure out what that means…but even as a
nurse I doubted what that meant. I think I ran in and out of the bathroom about
20 times in pure shock. My thoughts went something like this… “Me? Pregnant?
Seriously?! No way. But maybe, I mean there are two lines! But maybe the test
was a false positive (really, Angela??). No I think it’s really
real! Oh my word, I’m pregnant! What do I do? I have to tell Seth!” I ran
around a few more times and then texted Seth I needed him to come home, but he
was in meetings and couldn’t & frankly I think he was a little baffled that
I needed him to come home so urgently during a work day. So I went shopping and
bought a onesie to surprise him with. I made him a card that said
congratulations daddy & set it all out on the table. When he got home from
work later, he took one look at the card and said “are you kidding me?!”
“nope!!”. He picked me up & spun me around. I loved his genuine &
authentic excitement!
In the middle of the journey, I didn’t see an end and I
thought it would be like this forever. I wrestled a lot with God and journal-ed
out my feelings a lot. If you are going through something similar I would
recommend journaling and being honest before God with what you are feeling and
where you are at. He met with me countless time after time speaking His true
promises to me so I could hang on to them and have hope in Him alone. He didn’t
want me to hope in the doctor or in the chiropractor or in a diet change or in
anything we thought might help….He wanted my heart to hope fully in Him that He
is a good God and He has the perfect plans and the perfect timing for our
lives. He didn’t want me to compare my life to a friend’s or a stranger’s or
even to worry if it was possible. He wanted all of my trust and He wanted all
of my faith to be in Him. It was a daily give-it-over-to-God. A daily
surrender. He wanted to be more than enough for me- He wanted to be all that I
needed. He also taught me that nothing is impossible for Him and that if I call
to Him, cry out to Him, that He will tell me great and unsearchable things that
I couldn’t even imagine! Why would I put my hope in something on this earth
when God was up to something far greater than I could comprehend? So what
started as a journey of being terrified and dreading what was potentially ahead
turned into something so beautiful that only God could do. He took a trial and
peeled back some of my layers of doubt, misconceptions of Him, strongholds, and
even idols in my life and revealed His pure and perfect love for me and taught
me how to trust that no matter what He is good and has good plans for His
children…and it’s all in His timing & His ways. It’s still a hard concept to grasp when
you’re going through something. I’m sure the next time I’m in a trial I will
struggle with understanding His timing, but I have this look back at and
remember that He never left my side, He continued to whisper great and precious
promises to me, and He loves me. We can’t let our experiences skew our view of
who God is- He doesn’t change- He is who He says He is in His Word and He will
always be. He’s got a love for us that is far deeper and far purer and far more
passionate than anything we can even imagine.
I think this may be long enough. I could write and write
what I’ve learned, but you get the idea.
Also, I was listening to this song the other day as I was
reflecting on God’s faithfulness throughout my life & specifically this journey and figured if it could
help me, I know it could help someone else too…It can relate to any trial you’ve
gone or are going through...big or small…whether you have been deployed, lost a
loved one, final exams, infertility issues, marriage struggles, disease or
sickness, bad days, difficult employers, disciplining children, and the list goes on! So for whatever
you are or have or will go through- this song is for you! (Matt Redman- Never Once)
I do have to confess that when my parents, my brother & his family, and Seth’s parents came to visit- I intentionally left out some pictures on my blog because that is when we told them all we were pregnant, so now I’ll reveal the pictures.
Telling our family: It couldn't have worked out better! We already had planned for my parents to come the first weekend of may, then for my brother & his fam, and then for seth's parents...all of this was planned before we knew we were pregnant. I had always wanted to tell our families in person, if possible, and God was so good to let us tell some of our family in person! We made these shirts- "Mom & Dad" and walked out in them...let's just say they were all surprised :). For our niece, instead of us wearing our shirts, we put her in a shirt that said "cousin to be" and waited to see when jake & jen would notice, it didn't take long :)! We were able to skype with everyone else in our family, which was awesome!!
My parents- It was soo fun to tell them in person!!! Their reactions were priceless!
The shirt we made for Kylie Jo...we took her out in public in it- a little risky because we hadn't told anyone else yet, but she was so stinkin cute in it :)
The awesome weber family & baby # 2 on the way!
Seth's parents- we told them the same way we told my parents & it was sooo fun to see their reactions & celebrate with them in person!
That's our baby!
Thanks for sharing in the journey with us! We look forward to what's ahead and know we have a lot to learn :)!
About a week ago Seth's parents came down to visit us! We were so excited to have them here and show them around, since we know a lot more about the city since they were last here when they moved us in! It worked out perfectly that they could be here to celebrate Seth's birthday with us. They got in on Thursday- which was Seth's bday, so we made his favorite- spaghetti with homemade avanti's bread, green beans, fruit salad, and a simple lettuce salad. I asked him what kind of cake he wanted and he said poke cake (white cake with jello poured in it and a pudding/whipped topping icing). We opened presents and hung out together, it was a fun day!
We had so much fun with them- we took them to Pinnacle Mountain State Park, did some shopping, went to the big dam bridge, went out to eat at some fun new places neither Seth or I had tried yet, took them to our church, went swimming, played some games and did lots of talking! We tried to do as much as possible because we wanted to make the most of our time with them!
We were so sad to see them go- again, goodbyes still aren't getting easy. I can't believe how fast the weekend went but we had so much fun together!
Here's a few pictures of our weekend together:
Seth got birthday cards from Dayne & Maggy in the mail :)
Yes this is a helicopter. for adults. Over Christmas Seth kept saying how
much he wanted to get one of my brothers this for a present and then he
kept hinting that he really liked it. well, he was pretty happy to open it.
He found this book @ a bookstore here and kept talking about it, hint taken :)
Haha, so we were recently invited to a really awesome 7 year old's b-day party and
what else did we get him except the obvious- legos! Seth was pretty jealous and
wanted some of his own (I think many of you guys can relate to never growing
out of legos). SO I got him a starter pack which i'm sure we will keep adding to, haha.
27 candles!!
We took Mom & Dad to the Big Dam Bridge (if you ever visit us, it's the
must-take-every-visitor-to-spot) It is the longest pedestrian walking bridge in the US
built for that purpose and it's on top of a dam so it's pretty fun to watch.
They are watching a boat go through. I don't know
what all the technical terms are, haha.
Mom & Dad B at the bridge!
Mom was giving me sewing lessons by hand &
on my machine!! I loved it!
The guys did a project- they built us this awesome shelf
in our kitchen!!
Again, we had a blast and can't wait for y'all to come back and visit again!!
Most of us have at least heard of human trafficking. It can be easy to turn our heads the other way and think that something so atrocious couldn't possibly be happening, maybe even in our own towns. But it is. It is happening right here in Little Rock and most likely right where you live too. Girls are being sold for sex. against their will, day after day for years. They are trapped, threatened, beat, and brutally assaulted. When did this start to become okay in the world? When did hearts get so hard that this has become a living for people?
It makes my hands ache to even type this and it's hard to press the keys to even write what I need to say. But I need to say it.
About 3 years ago we were introduced to the subject. Much to my ignorance and naivety I did not even know this was happening before then. How could something so awful, so unimaginable be going on for years and I didn't even have a clue it existed? It is such a hidden and secret crime, but thankfully in the past few years many abolitionists are rising up to take a stand against this and to get the word out to people like us who maybe just didn't even know something so terrible was happening. Once you know, really know, you can't forget. You can't forget about the 27 million people that are enslaved around the world or the two million children involved in the commercial sex trade. And these people are more than a statistic, they are a precious human life.
To say that I have a tornado of emotions surrounding this subject would be an understatement. I've never wanted to do something so badly yet felt so helpless at the same time. My heart screams "it's unfair, unjust!" and I struggle to know what to do. I sometimes get this "i'm going save the world" thought process going and try to figure out howI can free them. I can't. I can do nothing on my own. Apart from God, my feeble attempts and hopes for these girls are nothing. I have to remind myself that God is their God too and He loves them with an everlasting love and wants to redeem their lives.
But yet they are still trapped in this prison day after day. I have a hard time understanding these things sometimes.
I recently bought a documentary called Nefarious, Merchant of Souls. It's a documentary on sex trafficking around the world and yes, here in the US. It. is. so. hard. to. watch. It will break you heart, it will enrage you with anger at times, it will leave you speechless. But we have to educate ourselves, we CANNOT ignore this "fastest growing criminal industry in the world". Did you know that parents sell their own children to a pimp so that through sex they will make their parents a healthy wage...and what's EVEN WORSE is many of the fathers don't work, and not because they can't find a job but because they depend on their daughter's income and they sit around all day doing nothing while their daughter is being unbelievably abused day after day. Did you know that the average age of entry into commercial sex slavery in the UNITED STATES is 13??? Did you know 80-90% of families are selling their daughters in certain countries?
I don't want to believe it. And sometimes I wish I didn't know because it's so painful. But I can't ignore what I know. I can't. After we watched the movie, I just wept for a while. I have heard alot of this information before, but when you hear their stories and see their faces, it's not just another fact. It's a human life. Yes you might be emotionally heightened after watching the movie, but beware those emotions will dissipate when you go to bed and wake up and go about normal life, after a few days or weeks it's easy to forget or to dismiss those thoughts. But don't let yourself. I'm not saying to drown yourself daily in a wave of despair, i'm asking that you don't forget this evil and to hope in a God who redeeming people to Himself!
There is hope. Because God is God. Because girls are being rescued and brothels are being discovered. But it's a hard and slow process at times. It's a very dangerous thing at times. What can you do? Ask God how He wants to use you in this. Pray pray pray. Educate yourself. But please don't ignore this injustice, this terrible, unfathomable evil. It's more than a wordly battle, it's a spiritual battle.
William Wilberforce, who fought slave trade and slavery in 1800's said this:
"If to be feeling alive to the sufferings of my fellow-creatures is to be a fanatic,
I am one of the most incurable fanatics ever permitted to be at large"
Things have been busy but so fun lately. We've had lots of visitors and have loved it! First my parents came and spent a weekend with us and the next weekend my brother and sis-in-law and their adorable little girl came. Next weekend Seth's parents are coming and we are so excited! We love having the quality time with our family and exploring the city a little bit more! It's always more fun to do with someone else, because I think when you live somewhere you easily settle into "your routine" but when you are showing someone around you try new things and notice new things.
My good looking mom & dad :)
We got out grandma's sewing machine that I've been wanting to use f-o-r-e-v-e-r but have had NO idea how to even thread the thing. Mom to the rescue, she was awesome & helped me figure that darn thing out! Haha, I was so excited because I sewed a straight line, :)...lots of work ahead Jen & Kylie Jo...love their ponytails...like mother like daughter :)
We went to the Peabody hotel to watch the march
of the ducks since Kylie is infatuated with "duckies" lately.
We've tried our hand at a garden. Initially we got so excited when we started to see seeds sprouting and growing into tiny little leaves. But our excitement soon deflated once two weeks had passed and those tiny little leaves had not grown. AT ALL. Our garden, with exception to our grape tomatoes, has completely taken a standstill position. We can't decide if it's just going to die or if one day we will wake up and it will look like a flourishing jungle of delicious produce (positive thinking!). I mean last summer when we lived in Goodfield, IL our garden could have won a blue ribbon at a county fair for biggest zucchini, now we can't even get the plants to bloom pre=produce flowers. sigh. I suppose an apartment balcony may not be the most accommodating to growing a vegetable garden. (Don't be deceived when you look at the pictures, some of these we bought as plants, they have not grown that much).
In the back is a long planter with spinach...it's looked like that for over a month.
Our sad pepper plants. I wanted fresh red and green peppers so bad. We can't decide if this is all they are going to grow, haha.
In the background you will see our ONE plant that is producing!
Grape tomatos!! We are hopeful for those guys!
We've tried our hands at a couple other DIY projects too. Seth sometimes dreams of having a house so he can set up shop and build projects, not on his apartment balcony, but at the same time we've loved this season of life and often laugh at how innovative he can get to make a workshop here! Over Christmas time we were doing some shopping and I saw an idea at a store that I wanted to copy...the sign was giant nails in the shapes of letters that spelled JOY with yarn wrapped around them. So we came up with our own saying and got to work. Now, if you would have asked me to make this I would have said "Just hammer some nails into the shapes of letters free-handed, it'll be fine!" whereas Seth, a construction perfectionist mind you, says "let's print large letters from WORD and tape them to the board so everything looks even and then we can hammer the nails exactly one inch apart from each other"....at first I thought that was way too much work, but as we started working on it I was laughing realizing how my design would have been horrific and probably unreadable. Here's what we came up with.
(notice the perfect spacing)
So all ya'll who are on pinterest know how many fun ideas they are and also how overwhelming it can be at times. Well the other day I was determined to try some of the ideas that i've pinned. So I tried to tackle homemade handsoap. I read and learned that a. it's much better for you (less chemicals than OTC handsoap) and b. it's much cheaper!! (who isn't a fan of that!?). If you want the "recipe" for this click here.http://www.thefarmersnest.com/2011/11/liquid-hand-soap-diy.html. We have loved it. It smells great and lasts forever! I definitely will be making it again. See how we did it:
Start with your pick of bar soap. I love Mrs. Meyer's Lemon Verbana scent! These are hard to find though, I had to search town for this type of soap.
The recipe called for liquid glycerin. I looked ALL around the store for liquid glycerin and finally asked the clerk. She took me to the enema section and brought me to these...glycerin enemas. At first I thought, "hmmm this can't be right" but then I looked @ the ingredients & it's pure glycerin so we went with it, haha.
Buy a cheap grater from the dollar tree so that way you don't mess up your nice kitchen one!
Grate the entire bar of soap.
Boil the soap shreds into the water and glycerin.
This is what you get after it sits for a while....
We had to add some water to get it to the right consistency. but we've
been using it & loving it!
We are looking forward to summer. Even though we are adults and don't get "summer breaks" anymore, there is still something in the air that is so fun about summer. Everyone gets more relaxed & has more fun with life. You get outside more (unless it's 100 degrees, like I fear it will be here soon), you spend more time with family and generally just feel happier. One of my goals is to read a lot more. I have started about 3 books so far, and have about 20 more I want to read, haha :) Anyone else been there before, haha?
Tomorrow I'm helping to photograph a wedding. YIKES. Thankfully i'm just the backup. It's been such a great learning experience already and i've gained so many tips & tricks. It's been fun and quite a bit nerve wracking to think about. My simple little canon rebel is going to get a workout! I'm excited for this opportunity and hopeful everything will go great! (you can say some prayers, haha :)).
