a mother to the motherless.

I recently received a message from a dear friend from high school. It's amazing that though we've been out of high school for 7 years, I feel like it was only yesterday I talked to Keri. She is one of those people...the kind that make an impact on your life. The kind of person who you never forget, no matter how much time has passed. You remember them, not for their "status" or their "achievements" (though she is incredibly cool & amazingly smart) but for their heart. The kind of heart that is so rare. so pure. so selfless. Keri has always been an example to me. She has always amazed me at how well and how easily she loves people. It's like you could just stand next to her and feel loved...you know those kind of people. I always felt accepted and important around Keri. She's passionate. She cares with such a deep love that she can't not take action.

As I opened her message & read, I could've wept. I was speechless, amazed, inspired, challenged, and humbled. She is an almost-25-year-old woman who is displaying the love of Jesus in a way that I personally have never seen before. She gets what it means to die to self and to live as if this life is a vapor- gone before we know it- she is caring for who Jesus calls "the greatest". She is being a mother to the motherless.

"Then he said to them, “Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For it is the one who is least among you all who is the greatest.” - Luke 9:48.

I am honored to be Keri's friend. I just read this morning about abiding in Jesus- the vine- and being His branches that bear fruit (John 15). Keri is a fruitful branch and I am excited to see the fruits that grow out of her ministry and her home as she obediently follows what God has called her to do. When God calls us to something, He is faithful to see us through. 

Please visit Keri's website: http://godskidsourkids.webs.com/  . Your heart will be incredibly impacted and touched and moved. Please please think/pray/ask if you would support Keri, financially & prayerfully, in her efforts to defending the cause of the fatherless(and motherless) and orphaned. Even if you don't know her, please consider giving...we are all the body of Christ. And please share this with anyone you know!


My prayer for Keri is:

^"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, ¹⁵ from whom every family^[c] in heaven and on earth is named, ¹⁶ that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷ so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, ¹⁸ may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, ¹⁹ and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. ²⁰ Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, ²¹ to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen."

(Ephesians 3:14-21)

I want to brave like that.

Sometimes there's so much I want to write about that I don't know what to write. Sometimes it seems like my brain spins a million miles a second throwing out ideas left and right. Sometimes the only way to focus my thoughts or work through things well is with music. The other day I was taking a walk and listening to some good old caedmon's call. Oh how good it was to listen to some good old familiar music. I was again reminded why they still remain one of my favorite bands. I love listening to them because it seems like each time a do, a different part of their lyrics gets my heart. This time the lyrics came from the song "there is a reason". Here's the part of the song that stuck out to me:

Late at night the darkness makes it hard to see
the history of the saints who've gone in front of me
through famine, plague and disbelief
His hand was still upon them...cause there is a reason

He makes all things good. He makes all things good.
there's a time to live and a time to die
a time for wonder and a for wonder why

I LOVE these lyrics because so often I do forget those who have gone before me. Those in the old testament of the Bible who lived through so much and yet God had a reason for that season and He provided. perfectly. And that doesn't mean it was easy, but He knew the future in a way they could not see. And the God of those people is still the God of us today. He hasn't changed. He still provides and still has a reason for everything.
I've been learning lately what it means to really trust God. Not just "I trust you God." but "I really do trust that Your ways are better and beyond my simple understanding"...sometimes it feels like a blind trust. actually, often times that is the case. I'm learning that the more I sink into Him and make myself let go of things that seem "safe" or "make sense", the more I feel peace. this makes no sense to me. shouldn't it be the other way around? wouldn't it make sense that if I think what i'm doing is "safe"/comfortable that I should feel peace? I think what God teaching me is that I am holding onto things that aren't HIM for security.
But sometimes I don't know how to get from what feels safe to what seems impossible. It's kinda like someone telling me to just step off  of a cliff with no harness or parachute or something of the sort and telling me I'll actually be safer if I just step. crazy, right? who would do that? That's sorta what God's been teaching me. I keep hearing Him say "just step off, I'll catch you" & I say "um first off I think that is a bad idea, but if- and only if I would decide to step off I need to gather some gear, I need to bring my security blankets with me". He says "no, all you need is to step". I say "yeah but I at least need this". And again He says, just step. Why  is it so hard to just step? It's one simple choice, one simple decision. Do I not trust that He is good enough to catch me? Do I not trust that His plans for my life are way better than my plans for my life? I know the right words, I know the right thing to say...but do I really believe it? Do I believe that when He calls me to do something that He will provide...in His own way? Am I okay with the fact that God isn't going to do it "angela's way" and He isn't afraid of my whining? He says He will be with me when I pass through the waters & they will not overtake me (Isaiah 43:2). I think the bravest people on this earth are the people who take that step of the cliff and trust God and walk the journey He takes them on- focused on Him, trusting in His sweet and beautiful love. are they confused? probably. do they have clarity or answers? probably not. do they know how long it will last/take? usually not. do they have questions? yes, tons. but they follow with blind trust in Jesus through fear, doubt, hurt, pain, joy, peace, silence, broken hearts. If i'm brave, i'll trust blindly in my God who never leaves me. I want to be brave like that. Like those who have gone before me.

"The sweetest moment on this road is moving forward not knowing where to go" - Alli Rogers

quarter-of-a-century.

I realize my birthday is almost a month and a half gone but I never posted on how fun it was! Early in our marriage, Seth learned (the hard way, rather) how important birthdays were to me. Since then he seemingly attempts to "top" the previous year's element of fun and surprise. I love to have fun, but I don't always know how to make it happen which is one reason why Seth is good for me- he comes up with great ideas & is able to carry them out well.

I had been complaining/joking for a couple of weeks how old i'm getting (some of you may laugh at this, but turning a quarter of a century is a monumental year)...it's like "official adulthood" from this point on. It's the small things really...I can't blend in as a college student anymore and am entering that season of life that is full of a lot more...responsibilities. I fall into a new age category on surveys...the 25 and older group. I found 2 gray hairs the other day...definite sign of aging. Something about turning 25 just seems so defining...to me anyways. (mom & dad, if you're reading this, i'm sure you are laughing hard at my dramatic emotions & yet are not surprised one bit, haha :) ). 

Yet there are alot of great things about getting older. And I am excited for these seasons and years to come.

With that said...I had a wonderful birthday, thanks to my buddy.

On thursday night (my birthday day)...he cooked me a super delicious dinner...salmon & veggie stirfry coupled with an AMAZING apple crisp from scratch complete with blue bell icecream (thanks to jake & jen) for dessert. THEN after dinner he told me to bundle up because we were going to go stargazing. He had his truck full of blankets & an airmattress to put in the back of the truck. So we made some hot beverages, bundled up & drove to the middle of nowhere & watched the stars for a couple hours....the night sky was a-m-a-z-i-n-g. And we even saw some shooting stars. pretty awesome.

Then  that weekend he surprised me with a weekend getaway to Mt. Magazine St. Park...about 2 hours from Little Rock. We went hiking, played board games, explored the surrounding town of Paris, AR (very, very small town Arkansas to say the least). My favorite part of the weekend was how we just talked alot...with me being an emotional/feeler/talker/need-to-process-everything-outloud-type-of-personality this was the best gift he could've given me. Poor guy was probably emotionally/mentally drained by the end of the weekend. Favorite memory of the weekend would have to be our saturday morning breakfast: we ventured down the mountain to the small, quaint town of Paris, AR on a mission to find a place to eat breakfast. After driving around the whole town about 3-4 times (took about 5 minutes total) we decided on a place called "The Grapevine". We walked in the restaurant and literally everyone stopped what they were doing and just looked at us. Yes, kids even turned around in their chairs, put down their forks and just starred at us. We awkwardly found a table and then everyone resumed their usual saturday morning breakfast...it was obvious we weren't one of the "regulars". haha. I love living in the south just to have experiences like these.

Here's some pics:

                                                              I woke up to this on thursday morning! 

        

                                                                      Making veggie stirfry!

                                                          Getting the airmattress inflated in the truck for stargazing 

                                                                We've got our hot beverages!

                                               Probably one of the best apple crisps i've ever eaten. 

                                                                   on a hike. 

                                                      One of the tallest points in Arkansas 

                        This was the lodge we stayed in...the back of it (here) over looks the valley below...it was beautiful!

I am and feel so blessed. Not in a suzy-sunshine kind of way...but in a true, deep, and honestly speechless kind of way. God is good and so faithful and keeps teaching me that every day i'm on this earth. I get to experience His steadfast love & His unending grace. I don't know what this next year will hold but He does & His plans are good. He does not grow weary or faint (as seth reminded me of this morning- Isaiah 40) as I sometimes do but He gives us strength. What would I do without my Jesus?

happy birthday Tony.

(disclaimer: sorry to my family, the tears will roll on this one, but that's good. love you guys so much)

This day rolls around every year. And every year it just seems to get harder. Tomorrow is my biggest brother, Tony's, birthday. and he is celebrating it with Jesus. It's been almost 10 years we've not been able to tell him happy birthday or make him a cake. Almost 10 years without seeing his contagious smile or be embraced by one of his strong & loving hugs. He set the standard for us kids...we looked up to him so much.

He was just so cool. Each one of us is who we are today because of the ways he has shaped our lives. In 22 years he impacted his family & friends & perfect strangers more than anyone i've ever met...seriously. He wasn't afraid of living. He wasn't afraid of what other people thought. Mostly, he wasn't afraid to love, like crazy. He wore his heart on his sleeve & anyone that knew him, knew they were loved by him. He could press my buttons & get me steaming like noone ever could, yet in 2 seconds he could twist my heart around his finger & remind me how much he loved me and how he just had to give me a hard time out of love. He was the person who could make me the most mad & feel the most loved at the same time. He taught me how to forgive well...he did not hold grudges & always came back with a hug. I miss him, Oh I miss him so much. I miss talking to him. He taught me about being genuine & not doing something just because it was "the cool thing to do", but to be real. He was a dreamer. He could cast a vision & we'd be sold on how great of an idea it was. He was the most passionate person i've ever known in my life. He has inspired me to never settle for just "okay". He pursued life with a passion and love that i've never seen before or since. Sometimes when I start thinking about him, the flood gates open & all my memories come alive again...I love it. I love thinking about him & remembering him.

 Our family just misses him, we miss the life he brought to our family. We just ache for him. I cannot wait to see him again. I can't wait to have a hug from him again. He blessed my life more than I'll ever be able to put to words. He taught me some of the most valuable lessons I've ever learned. He was a leader, a fearless & courageous man who pursued, with incredible passion, how to love & live life to the fullest.

Happy Birthday, Tony! We are celebrating the life you lived & the gift your life was to us. We are forever changed because of you & how you loved us with no reserve. Blue skies, Tony! Heaven is closer every day.

cooking & life

It's finally snowing here in the south! It's actually pretty hilarious when there is a threat of snow down here. Last night we were watching tv and noticed on all the channels how the bottom of the screen kept saying "winter weather advisory"...1-2 inches expected. We had to laugh because coming from IL that would be barely considered a dusting on the ground...here, all the milk in the grocery stores is bought & schools close & businesses close down. So here I am watching a few pieces of snow fall to the ground, thankful I get to see at least some winter before the temperature jumps back to the 50s tomorrow. We've had a few relaxing weekends lately, which has been a nice change after the busy holiday season & all the travelings. We've explored some of little rock, found a favorite coffee shop, caught up on life, tried some fun recipes (see below), and just spent some time "working" through some of the things in our marriage that need some tweaking.

We've found sometimes it's easier to "settle" on certain things because at times it's easier than confronting potential conflict. But we don't want to settle...for anything, because we believe that is less than what God has called us to in a marriage. The point where we "settle" is the point where selfishness tends to show it's ugly face- when we  sometimes don't love each other like Jesus. Someone told me recently that marriage is about making you holy, not happy. There is a lot of truth in that. SO it takes a lot of work. Because we tend to operate in opposite ways. I'm a feeler...I tend to feel everything- in my mind, I feel it, therefore it is real/true (can anyone else relate to this :)? ). Seth is the logical thinker...if there is a problem,  he looks for the solution and fixes what is wrong. We sometimes miss each other when we are operating with our programmed responses. So it takes patience to understand another person's point of view & listen well. But it's good work & down the road we hope to look back, being thankful for the time and tears that sometimes it takes. Okay, enough of my lessons learned in marriage/relationship for today, though my hope is to come across transparent.

Onto my journey in learning to cook. I've always enjoyed baking more than cooking. I think it has to do with how I would always beg my mom to let me make cookies when I was growing up. I loved making cookies...still do, it's a weakness (ask seth). Actually if for nothing else than just eating the cookie dough. mmm. I always was intimidated by cooking...I didn't know what spices were good with what, etc. My mom is an awesome cook. I would often times watch her make supper & she would never need to use a recipe. The food always tasted amazing (ask anyone in my family- they will vouch for me). When I would cook with my grandma- my mom's mom, she would measure to the "t". She would follow a recipe to the exact measurement. And her food was always incredible as well!! SO after observing two amazing cooks, I combined the two ways of cooking & now use a recipe as a guide but also throw in & tweak a little of this & a little of that. Unfortunately this is not full-proof & it doesn't always work in my favor, though (that is why there are recipes for a reason!)...poor Seth has literally eaten everything i've ever made. There has been times it has tasted so bad that i've literally gagged & walked away, haha (Specifcally speaking to a time when I used lemon pepper to season pasta & tried to compensate the flavor by adding everything in the fridge- i'm still slightly scarred to this seasoning). Anyways, thankfully, this has improved some over the years, haha. Now I can say that I am enjoying cooking. It's fun to try new recipes and explore food blogs.  We have developed a rating scale for "recipes"- 1. Ewww 2. Edible 3. Yummy 4. Yowza.

So I thought i'd post a couple of the recipes we've tried lately that have been rated "Yowza" by Seth. The first one I don't have a picture of (though it actually looks pretty ugly when finished, but tastes different that it looks! haha).

Slow-Cooker Sweet Potato & Lentil Soup ( I know, lentils may sound kinda gross- but they taste great & are packed with great nutrients & protein)

1 large sweet potato, peeled & chopped in small cubes (we didn't have this but am trying
 it next time I make it)
3 medium carrots, peeled & cut into small pieces
3 stalks celery, chopped (optional)
1/2-1 onion, chopped
1 cup spinach (optional)
1 cup dried lentils
6-7 cups of water (depending how many veggies you add)
1 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp cumin
1 tsp salt
ground pepper to taste
1 T tomato paste (optional- I just had some leftover & added it & liked the taste)
1 T butter
1/4-1/2 cup chopped cilantro

1. Add first twelve ingredients to slow cooker (everything minus the butter & cilantro). Stir, cover & keep on low for 8 hours.
2. Stir soup roughly or use potato masher lightly to puree some of the soup- but keep some un-pureed. If too thick, add hot water or milk (if you want it creamier)
3. Add butter & let melt & then add cilantro. Add more salt to taste if needed. Serve with grated parmesan cheese on top if you like!


Chicken Lettuce Wraps (sorta like pf-chang's wraps)

Stir Fry Sauce:

2 T soy sauce

1 T vinegar

1 T brown sugar

1/4 tsp red pepper

1/4 tsp ginger

1 tsp sesame oil

Mix all ingredients together & set aside.

For Chicken/Veggie mixture:

1 lb chicken breast- diced into small pieces

1 1/2 T olive oil

1 1/2 T sesame oil

1 cup diced onion

1/2-1 bell pepper, diced (color of your choice)

1/2 cup diced carrots

1 cup snap peas, cut into smaller pieces

8 oz can of water chestnuts, diced

2 garlic cloves, minced 

1/4 cup cashews, chopped

Heat oils in pan over medium heat, add diced chicken & brown (about 5-10 minutes). Add onions, pepper, & carrots.

Cook until tender or desired consistency. Add garlic, sautee for 1 minute. Add water chestnuts & snap peas. Pour stir fry sauce over

mixture & stir to incoporate evenly. Add chopped cashews at end & let sit for 5 minutes.

For Pouring Sauce (this is optional)

1/4 cup sugar ( I used truvia- but use less if you do this)

1/2 cup warm water

2 T soy sauce

2 T vinegar

2 T ketchup

1 T lemon juice

Mix all above pouring sauce ingredients together & put in fridge to immerse flavors (don't have to do that, though)

1 tsp hot water

1 T dijon mustard

2 cloves garlic, minced

Mix last three ingredients together & slowly add to above pouring sauce mixture- to taste. Use to pour over mixture as a condiment at the end.

You will also need a head of iceburg lettuce. Wash & seperate leaves so they can act as indvidual "bowls". Add chicken mixture & add pouring sauce at end, if wanted. Roll up lettuce & enjoy! Warning: this can be messy- have napkins on hand :)!!

Thanks for sticking with me as I am learning to be the woman God is shaping me to be. It's a journey! Happy monday to you!!

Our Christmas

I know it's the end of January and Christmas is gone and past, but I am still wanting to post some pictures of our trip to Illinois. Partly for my own memory recall as years later I browse old blog posts, and partly for anyone else who enjoys pictures & blog reading. We had an awesome time in Illinois with both families and some dear friends. It was difficult to leave them all but we were also excited to get "home" and slow down life a bit (hasn't quite happened yet :)). Here are some of my favorites from our trip (mind you I took hundreds and would probably have you lulled to sleep if I included them all!):

This is what Seth had been working on for our neice, Kylie Jo. It's a safe/bank, but until she gets old enough to use it as that he made it useable to play with. I think it's aaaamazing.

                                                                         Back View

                                                           Grandpa reading Kylie a book

                                                                     Kylie loved Chad's guitar

The Weber's

                                                              Uncle Sethy & Kylie Jo

                                                                   Weber Family Picture

This lightbrite is precious to us. The design on it was done by Tony & Chad & we haven't ever changed it.

                                                                Love this guy & his shirt

                                                                I think they liked it :)

 

                                                               Uncle Sethy & Dayners

                                                  Rio thinking he's not too sure about this uncle seth guy

                                                                               us!

                                                            Maggy got a dress up outfit & loved it!!

                                              Grandma reading to the kiddos...I think dayne wants to see ;)

                                                                      Jake and Dayne


                                                       Kylie Jo helping us make chocolate chip cookies

haha, this makes me laugh everytime I see it..

                                            Four Generation picture! (Grandpa Weber, Dad, Jake, Kylie Jo)

Weber Family with Grandpa

      Picture #1: notice Kylie Jo drinking from cup     #2: notice grandpa drinking from cup :)

 

The Weber/Knapp grandkids with Grandpa Weber

The boys played lots of basketball this week....

Love it!

Some Grandma & Grandpa time with Kylie Jo

Celebrating Dayne & Maggy's 3rd Birthday party:

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed. We feel super blessed and think we have the most awesome family & friends :).

stop & listen.

Do you ever have one of those moments where God just stops you in the middle of your thinking and says, "Ang (or insert your name here) will you stop...and just listen to me"? Today I was doing one of my favorite things- taking a walk on a bright blue sky day & listening to my music. For me, it is a time where I can think, process, wonder, question, feel, figure out and just be. Sometimes my mind is too loud for me to actually hear what I'm listening to. Today was one of those times...too busy figuring out mine & the world's problems to hear. All of a sudden it felt like someone turned off my thoughts & turned on the speakers in my ears to hear this song that was playing....called- After All [Holy] by David Crowder Band..it's a song on their newest & last CD. (see link & lyrics below). It's truly a worship song. It will just make you want to stop what you're doing, throw up your arms in the air & simply & gloriously worship. As I was listening to it, God said to me "Ang, though I care SO MUCH about everything you're trying to figure out & think about....do you think any of it is going to matter a single ounce when you are standing around my throne in heaven with all the angelic creatures and the millions of others singing "Holy, Holy, Holy!"??? Whammmm....talk about a new perspective. It was so sweet & so good. I love moments with God like that, when through His love for me- He invites me to see things in a different light, a light that sees beyond the temporary & into the eternal.

After All [Holy]- David Crowder Band- Youtube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?

Lyrics:

Verse 1
I can't comprehend
Your infinitely beautiful
and perfect love
Oh, I've dreamed dreams
of majesty as brilliant as
a billion stars

Pre-Chorus 1
But they're never bright enough
After all

Chorus
You are holy
Oh holy
Holy, holy, holy

Verse 2
I will sing a song
for You my God
with everything I have in me

Pre-Chorus 2
But it's never loud enough
After all

REPEAT CHORUS

Bridge
Heaven and earth are full
Full of Your glory, Your glory
My soul it overflows
Full of Your glory, Your glory
Oh, blessed is He who reigns
Full of Your glory, Your glory
My cup it can't contain
All of Your glory, Your glory
Hosanna, we are found
After all You are

REPEAT CHORUS 2X

Ending
I can't comprehend
Your infinitely beautiful

On another note, I have a million and ten other things I want to blog about but i'll get to them, eventually, haha...maybe! I'll post some Christmas pictures from our trip soon!!

Dayne & Maggy- 3 years :)!

I love these kids. They are three today!! It's hard to believe they are already that old! We had so much fun taking their pictures...it was a cold day out but these twinkies were troopers. I took a ton of pictures because they were being so fun. As I was looking through them all, I was laughing at all the expressive faces they make :) Enjoy!