goodbye & hello.

Bittersweet. Merriam-Webster’s definition: something that is bittersweet; especially: pleasure alloyed with pain. I’ve been calling everything bittersweet lately. If you’ve recently talked to me, you’ve probably heard me say it. My emotions have been on an ever-changing ride. Some moments I’m so excited for this thrilling & trailblazing journey ahead. Other times I’m like a 3 year old who is clinging to her mom’s leg because I don’t want to leave. Leaving is bitter. The journey that awaits us & the people we will meet & the things we will do- that’s sweet. But I’m in the leaving stage right now, so everything tastes pretty bitter. It tastes kinda like this: The other night I was in the garage going through some stuff & seth comes out holding a glass of what I thought was ice water. I grab for it before he has the chance to say otherwise & take a swig. NOT WATER!!!!! I immediately went from smiling to twisting my face in confusion at this bitter taste in my mouth. It was milk. Now imagine thinking you were going to taste water & instead you taste milk…yuck.

I’m horrible at goodbyes, in fact I dread them. Instead of saying “goodbye” I tend to end with something like “I’ll see you soon!” because that usually stops my tear ducts from breaking loose. And makes it easier. Who likes hard things? You might say Angela, it develops character & perseverance & is good for you. Well, whether I like “hard things” or not (which I don’t like them), they come, so I figure I might as well make them as easy as I can, right? I know, I know. But seriously, I’ve been leaving & saying “good-bye” to everything lately. I’ve said goodbye to our home in goodfield, friends, our bible study group, our potluck, our home church, the pregnancy resource center, OSF- my job, my co-workers, our family, town, community. I even found myself saying goodbye to my favorite restaurant the other day- may sound lame, but it’s my familiar.

On the other side of the coin- I love new things. I love dreaming & anticipating things. I love imagining and hoping and wondering. Moving is full of all new things. A new town, a new home, a new job, new skills, new friends, new church, new roads, new hobbies, new state, new everything.

In the word bittersweet, the bitter precedes the sweet. Such is life- the “bitter”/difficult precedes the “sweet”/exciting.

We move tomorrow morning. It’s pretty surreal & doesn’t seem to have hit me yet. We have been soaking in time with family and friends before we leave. This past month has flown by & it’s so hard to believe the time is already here!

Next time I post will probably be from our new home in Little Rock, Arkansas! Thanks for all your prayers and your love. Please keep praying as we make this transition and say goodbye to what we’ve known forever and hello to what’s ahead.